Guilt

guilt trip bagg

Dr. Laura says that guilt is something you feel when you do something wrong. I felt guilty today about something and i’d like to share. I’d planned on waking up early this morning (earlier than normal) and getting in a good work out before heading to work.  I had to get here (work) early because we are leaving to go to Illinois this afternoon to visit Dave’s family.  I set my alarm, but unfortunatley didn’t hear it go off, this rarely happens, so when I woke up to the clock reading 6:15 am I was pretty confused. I raced to get ready and get out the door. I ended up getting here at my normal time sans any exercise.  I know it’s not a big of a deal for most people to miss a day of exercise and i’m ok with a day here or there too, but Tuesday I was really sore and I thought it was important to let my muscles recover, and yesterday I planned on it being another off day due to our plans after work. I came in super early yesterday and was not about to get up at 3am to exercise (that would be an extreme behavior and i’m working to stay away from those).  So this mornings exercise was something I was not only looking forward to, but also something I felt was important. As I sat at my desk this morning I started to feel guilty.  Before I let these thoughts get the best of me I called “Dr. Phil” (my husband) (hopefully he is amused by all these names i’m making up for him) He is my go to guy and when i’m struggling with what I call negative behavior and can’t quite push it out on my own, he always helps me see things clearly.  I told him how I was feeling and the first thing he said was….”guilt is something you feel when you do something wrong”.  He then asked me if I did something wrong.  My answer was of course, No.  Every so often he lets out a comment that i’m sure he’s been holding in for the just right moment…this time he said, nat you’ve got to stop feeling guilty about so many things.  My immediate thought was “what things”…but instead of being defensive, I agreeded and after few more words of encouragement we ended the conversation with an i love you and g-bye.

When we got off the phone I thought about what he said for a bit.  Geeze louise… This week alone I thought of three times that I felt guilt……I do feel guilty about a lot of things, and probably most are unwarranted.  It’s good to care about personal things, others and their feelings, but if caring makes you feel guilty all the time, then it’s not a healthy type of care. I continued to analyze.

This may sound crazy, but I actually like it when I figure out something about myself that needs to change.  It’s a challenge and something to work towards.  I have made  many changes in my life over the past 3 years. Instead of being offended or defensive when a personal challenge arises, I am actually motivated and excited to tackle it.  I feel lucky to have a husband who loves me enough to help me progress and give me encouragement when I need it.

Guilt is not warranted when you did nothing wrong. I’ve known this all along and have probably counsled family on this very subject.  Taking a step away from my own mind and saying it over and over really helped me apply it to my situation today. I’ve got better things to do than pack my bags and send myself on a guilt trip. See ya later ya guilt…don’t let the door hit ya on the way out! 🙂

I no longer feel guilty about not exercising today. It is not going to kill me. Don’t get me wrong, my overly guilty conscience has not been eternally cured, but I did have a good long talk with it (my guilt), and I’m pretty sure it knows that i’m not too happy with how its been acting.  Hopefully it payed close attention to what I told it. Over time i think it will slowly start to leave me alone. 🙂

Questions:

Do you feel guilty often? Not just about your diet or exercise…but anything in life?

How do you eliminate unnecessary guilt?

ps…i’m headed off to a small town in Illinois with no more than 400 people.  Dave’s brother doesn’t have internet and his parents only have dial up…so it’s not likely that i’ll be posting this weekend. I’ll make sure to take some good pictures and report when I get back.  They live out in the country and I plan on going on a few runs, it shall be lovely…i’ll let ya know how it goes!

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  1. megzzwinsatlife
    September 18, 2009 at 7:57 am

    I think guilt it totally normal. Sometimes when I set my alarm in the morning to work out but hit snooze I feel really guilty.. 😦

  2. Shelly
    September 18, 2009 at 9:11 am

    You are talking to the queen of guilt trips! I need to be better at this too! Jared tells me I say sorry too much. Some times I say sorry and he will say, ‘what for?’ and I won’t even know! I always feel guilty after I eat a snack but I ate more than i meant to! I should work on getting my guilt in check! Good post missy! Have so much fun and be safe! I will play with Turtle when I’m over at Mom and Dads

  3. September 18, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    I love the vintage pic! 🙂 I definitely feel guilty when I shouldn’t…it takes a conscious effort to tell myself that I didn’t do anything wrong so there’s no sense in torturing myself.

    Plus, you know what I think? Your body knows what it needs…maybe you needed a little extra sleep this morning! 😉

    • September 22, 2009 at 2:34 pm

      I think you are right. Sometimes its hard to listen to our bodies, but its so important to stay intune! thanks for the comment!

  4. September 18, 2009 at 11:27 pm

    wait until you become a mom! then the guilt is multiplied times 100. i just try to do the very best i can and that has to be good enough 🙂

    • September 22, 2009 at 2:34 pm

      I can’t imagine. ahhhh!! 🙂 your pictures on your blog are so great, you do an awesome job!

  5. littlemissminny
    September 20, 2009 at 11:48 am

    I admit, I feel very guilty, very often. And I can’t deal with it very good. I feel guilty when I don’t exercise when I’m tired or don’t have time. And really, in moments like that, I shouldn’t feel guilty. It’s not like I was lazy. And even then. It’s ok to be lazy. And I feel guilty whenever I think I ate too much. But I have an amazing boyfriend, an he too, as your husband, helps me to overcome that.

    • September 22, 2009 at 2:33 pm

      When you stop and think about it, feeling guilty gets you no where. As long as you keep your best foot forward and are trying to accomplish what you’d like its easier to be positive and realize that there is not need to feel guilt. I am really working on this!! 🙂

  6. Menden (Skinny Menny)
    September 21, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    I can definitely relate to how you feel! But you really make a good point – what’s the use of spending time feeling guilty when you did nothing wrong, right? I find myself feeling guilty over the dumbest things – things that I have no control over – and I need to learn to let things go sometimes…so thanks for that reminder 🙂 Hope you’ve had fun in Illinois!

    • September 22, 2009 at 2:30 pm

      Thanks! Sometimes its hard not to sweat it, but in the long run those little things really dont matter, just like “the foodie diaries” said, its not going to break us in the long run!

  7. September 21, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    I’m happy hubby was able to lend you his good advice. I’m a super type A person, so when I’m not completely in control and on top of what I need to be doing, I get anxious and sometimes feel guilty. I’ve learned, over time, that it really isn’t ever worth stressing out over the little things. If I don;t get something done that I’d planned, I figure out a way to fit it in the next day. It’s important to remind ourselves that none of the little things are going to make or break us in the long run

    • September 22, 2009 at 2:29 pm

      You’re totally right. Why sweat the small stuff! Thanks for the great comment!

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