Dr. Laura says that guilt is something you feel when you do something wrong. I felt guilty today about something and i’d like to share. I’d planned on waking up early this morning (earlier than normal) and getting in a good work out before heading to work. I had to get here (work) early because we are leaving to go to Illinois this afternoon to visit Dave’s family. I set my alarm, but unfortunatley didn’t hear it go off, this rarely happens, so when I woke up to the clock reading 6:15 am I was pretty confused. I raced to get ready and get out the door. I ended up getting here at my normal time sans any exercise. I know it’s not a big of a deal for most people to miss a day of exercise and i’m ok with a day here or there too, but Tuesday I was really sore and I thought it was important to let my muscles recover, and yesterday I planned on it being another off day due to our plans after work. I came in super early yesterday and was not about to get up at 3am to exercise (that would be an extreme behavior and i’m working to stay away from those). So this mornings exercise was something I was not only looking forward to, but also something I felt was important. As I sat at my desk this morning I started to feel guilty. Before I let these thoughts get the best of me I called “Dr. Phil” (my husband) (hopefully he is amused by all these names i’m making up for him) He is my go to guy and when i’m struggling with what I call negative behavior and can’t quite push it out on my own, he always helps me see things clearly. I told him how I was feeling and the first thing he said was….”guilt is something you feel when you do something wrong”. He then asked me if I did something wrong. My answer was of course, No. Every so often he lets out a comment that i’m sure he’s been holding in for the just right moment…this time he said, nat you’ve got to stop feeling guilty about so many things. My immediate thought was “what things”…but instead of being defensive, I agreeded and after few more words of encouragement we ended the conversation with an i love you and g-bye.
When we got off the phone I thought about what he said for a bit. Geeze louise… This week alone I thought of three times that I felt guilt……I do feel guilty about a lot of things, and probably most are unwarranted. It’s good to care about personal things, others and their feelings, but if caring makes you feel guilty all the time, then it’s not a healthy type of care. I continued to analyze.
This may sound crazy, but I actually like it when I figure out something about myself that needs to change. It’s a challenge and something to work towards. I have made many changes in my life over the past 3 years. Instead of being offended or defensive when a personal challenge arises, I am actually motivated and excited to tackle it. I feel lucky to have a husband who loves me enough to help me progress and give me encouragement when I need it.
Guilt is not warranted when you did nothing wrong. I’ve known this all along and have probably counsled family on this very subject. Taking a step away from my own mind and saying it over and over really helped me apply it to my situation today. I’ve got better things to do than pack my bags and send myself on a guilt trip. See ya later ya guilt…don’t let the door hit ya on the way out! 🙂
I no longer feel guilty about not exercising today. It is not going to kill me. Don’t get me wrong, my overly guilty conscience has not been eternally cured, but I did have a good long talk with it (my guilt), and I’m pretty sure it knows that i’m not too happy with how its been acting. Hopefully it payed close attention to what I told it. Over time i think it will slowly start to leave me alone. 🙂
Do you feel guilty often? Not just about your diet or exercise…but anything in life?
How do you eliminate unnecessary guilt?
ps…i’m headed off to a small town in Illinois with no more than 400 people. Dave’s brother doesn’t have internet and his parents only have dial up…so it’s not likely that i’ll be posting this weekend. I’ll make sure to take some good pictures and report when I get back. They live out in the country and I plan on going on a few runs, it shall be lovely…i’ll let ya know how it goes!